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Stan Collymore......inadvertent genius

Let's face it. Most football these days is so boring it makes us long for a Michael Carrick post match interview. However, things may be about to change. Thanks to people's pundit Stanley Collymore, he's promoting a new and radical approach to post-match interviews, and they could be on the way, if he has anything to do with it.

No more the run-of-the-mill monosyllabic crapola with an acquiescent and trembling Geoff Shreeves pat-balling the usual suspect players and managers with a piercing 'why were you so brilliant today?' in-shallow interrogation, dear me no. Thanks to strenuous efforts from our very own Stan-of-the people, we can expect a change from the status quo, which, if he has his way, will include the questioning of referees after the final whistle, to find out why they gave the decisions they did during the game.

Oh, but I hear the more sensible of you say, surely their response will be self-evident, and they will say simply that they had one go at making a decision, and didn't have the benefit of 25 camera angles. In short they will be humiliated in front of a world-wide audience. What's not to like as far as Stanley is concerned?

Now obviously, unless refs are going to give chapter and verse about how they deliberately made those mistakes, pull 50 notes from their cards pocket, cackle, rub their moustache, and, perhaps, try out their newly acquired bookies tic-tac suggestively on the TV continuity girl, we ain't gonna be any the wiser. However, the general idea is brilliant, if applied to all other interviewees, as it will also put players and managers on the spot in the same way.

Great. So I may assume we'll no longer have to suffer some mouth-breathing git looking at his boots, swigging a bottle of hypozade, while he speaks his brains about appreciating the gaffer, getting his opportunity, blah blah blah, a great ball from Wiggsy, Giggsy, or Biggsy etc etc, and, lo, the heavens open, and we'll have a bit more variety to post match interviews.

Surely if we are going to put refs on the spot, and they are shown their errors in glaring HD in front of the watching millions, and then asked for that totally redundant response, won't it be great for us, the viewing and paying public, not just to get the predictably dull MOM attendee to go through the motions, and mumble his thanks and walk off with a bottle of fizz, but, MUCH, MUCH more interestingly, get the diver in front of the cameras to explain his cheating, in full thespian slow-mo, the loutish tackler to justify his over the top sending off, and ask if he has any message for his victim, now lying in hospital, or (plump up the cushions), the likes of Wenger or Ferguson to respond to accusations of bad sportsmanship, and given the full Paxmanesque treatment if their answers come up short.

I'd especially like an Allardyce interview which went off-message, and asked him why he didn't sue Panorama, when he said he would all those years ago? After all, if refs are going to get the third degree, we might then get proper interviews with the real culprits, who cost us so much to watch the flaming game in the first place. Well done Stanley.

Written by lordjohnny

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The journalist

Writer: lordjohnny Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday November 26 2012

Time: 8:55AM

Your Comments

I'm sorry but that is really hard to read and make sence of it, you need to work on your journalist skills.
The Hudd
OK. Thanks Stan....
I've not got a hangover, but after reading through this, i feel as if i have one, What was that about?
spu 4 life
Perhaps if they varied the media training a bit they would have more stock answers to choose from.
Love totty
Just sounds like journalist 'door-stepping' when adrenaline and tempers maybe high.

Not smart, not smart at all. Hardly going to give us any great insight.
What might help is if the ref's written reports were published post match and then proper consideration given to their decisions and performances, and perhaps even post match press conferences the next day as often happens in Spain or Italy...but apart from that I think Stan has done what Stan always does namely; shooting from the lip.
Sports journalists could just ask more sensible questions. I saw a game recently where Man U were losing at half time and Fergie said the referees performance was dreadful. After the match when they had won the journo didn't think to ask him if he thought the referees performance improved in the second half.
This occasionally happens in boxing when a very controversial decision has been made by the referee, he is questioned immediately after the fight.

good example is Abner Mares vs Joseph Agbeko, where the ref Russell Mora, allows several low blows from Mares to go unpunished, before completely missing a blatant low blow that sent Agbeko to the canvas giving his opponent a crucial 10-8 round.

vid of that ref interviewed post fight: funny how Mora tries to defend his decisions then is forced to watch replays of his awful mistakes in front of everyone. He is even told to his face that others ringside believed it to be the worst officiating they had ever seen.
I do think that player/manager interviews are very safe, but I think this is because the majority of people are reluctant to say anything, let alone something that might provoke argument or debate. this is part due to a fear of being fined or bringing the game into disrepute and as long as there is a governing body/club censoring, we wont have the opinions we would like, even from refs
Not a good read.
what the facking fack you ponking the tutti
Some ref's make more mistakes than others, they have to be held accountable for poor performances like people are in every other professions, from Doctors to Plumbers.
Stan-of-the-people? I like some of Collymore's views, but beating up Ulrika Johnson and dogging doesn't make him a man of the people (insert your own jokes here). Although the article was, for me, an amusing read LJ, there's always been human-error, bias and dodgy decisions in football, I guess it depends what end of the spectrum you're based at, I don't hear too many Man United fans bemoaning their obvious deferential treatment. I don't think sticking a mic in-front of a ref would change anything, it would just lead to more cliches and obvious statements "it looked handball from where I was stood" etc. Video tech is the only way to solve all the problems, but they won't do it, Platini already ludicrously said that video tech would make the game "go on all night", which is obviously bollo(ks, but if you let your national game be governed from abroad then what choice do we have?
Just heard man-of-the-people saying that Spurs need to stop singing about the Y-word, your inadvertent genius can go ***** himself LJ.
Excellent article LJ. If you're not a journalist you should be. You write brilliantly and always make me smile. As for Stan, long live his revolution.
Thank you Spurious. The cheque is in the post.

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